I have been fully intending to do a 10-day baby countdown à la Noah’s 10-day countdown.  However, as I suspect many things with baby #2 will be, here is a half-assed attempt to do what I did the first time.  And so we begin with the 5-day countdown.

Me pregnant. With Noah. I didn’t have time for a leisurely maternity beach shoot this time around, but I think I look generally the same.

5 Days to Go…

My due date is October 19, 2014, or so I’ve been told.  That means today is the 5-day countdown, and I honestly couldn’t feel any better, i.e. I have no symptoms of labor, real or imagined as far as I can tell.  Oddly enough, yesterday I was NOT well, but I suspect it had nothing to do with the baby.  I was dizzy, nauseated, and felt generally terrible.

So, I decided that Cherkasky Law could give me a little vacation day (I’m kidding. We never stop hustling at CL), and I went to get a massage at my favorite Asian Reflexology massage place – Jade Foot Massage.  Now, if you’ve never been to one of these establishments, you need to go immediately.  You can get an hour massage for $25 and the only (semi-questionable) trade-off is that you’re on a little cot in a dark room packed with strangers also getting massaged mere inches from your body.  Don’t worry –  clothing IS required.  However, I would highly recommend going in some sort of “workout” outfit to get the best massage (no workout required, and if you’re wearing yoga pants, there is no way anyone can affirmatively prove you aren’t coming immediately from or going immediately to the gym). Oh, I should mention that I called before I went to ask if I could still get a massage at 39+ weeks pregnant, and they had no concerns – also a clear sign of legitimacy.  (but seriously, last year when I was pregnant with Noah up in Buellton, I called so many massage places and no one would take me since they didn’t have a “certified prenatal massage therapist.”  I told them I’d waive all liability, but they were no Jade Foot Massage).

So, I settled onto my cot on my side with a big pillow  (see – very accommodating of pregnant women) and the lady covered me with a blanket.  I believe the massage was underway for about 30-45 seconds when I suddenly started feeling very HOT and sweating profusely.  My  breathing became shallow and I wondered if I’d retain consciousness.  I tried to ignore the symptoms of my body potentially shutting down for the sake of getting a good massage and most importantly avoiding the full-on scene I was going to have to cause in the full room of fellow massage clients.  (What better way to celebrate Columbus Day, after all, than to indulge in a mid-afternoon Asian massage?)  But I couldn’t take it any longer.  I bolted up and threw the blanket off of me.  My masseuse was not fluent in English (I mean, she knew the basics such as harder, softer, tip, etc)., but she did not understand what was happening.  “I’m too hot!!” I whispered in a loud whisper. “I need to go!”  She looked at me for a moment then tried to physically push me back down onto the cot.  I started whispering more frantically, holding the blanket off of me.  She finally understood and we somehow (without words) came to an understanding that I could continue my massage in a seated position on the cot against all protocol, I’m sure.  I’m happy to report that the rest of the massage really took a turn for the better, and I got out of there feeling great!

Now, the bad news – I still feel great! I mean, I have absolutely no signs of any impending baby or labor or significant bodily function whatsoever.  Last time, as my loyal blog readers will recall (I mean, I only write once every 2-6 months, so it’s not a huge commitment), I suffered from sporadic, unbearable back stabbing pains for weeks prior to the birth, so that gave me something to latch onto.  With this one: Nothing!!

So that’s where I’m at: NOWHERE.  I have another doctor’s appointment in the morning, and I hope that I will get some sort of “news” about progression.  I will update you all tomorrow (unless no one is reading this, in which case I’ll go back to writing memoranda about sexual assault. Almost as entertaining).